I can-----I will

Lately life has become a delicate negotiation of "I can" and "I will." Last month I had arthroscopic surgery on my knee. Of course the superhuman athlete in me want to jump up and ride my bike on a hundred mile fall  Apple Cider Century bicycle ride. I have these goals. Bucket lists of sorts. I will ride a century bike ride this fall. This goal now must be negotiated with the "Can I?" This month the negotiation seems to stop at about a hour on the stationary cycle. Nowhere near a good days ride in a century where you start at the crack of dawn. Slowly wind your way thru a morning fog misting on your glasses, stop and have bananas and coffee.  Ride some more and then break for a lunch as you watch riders come and go, wax and wane, till you roll past the countryside in bliss. That "I will" will have to wait, for now it is one hour of Al Roker on my living room bike. My cat bats the turning wheel thinking the logo is a new cat toy.

"I can" has some physical limitations right now. It is not going to be that way for long because the "I will" is still trying to negotiate a better deal. As long as that is happening, I think I am good.

As I get older everyday is becoming a bargain between I can make it to yoga this morning despite the stiffness. I will master the yoga positions and I will graduate to the Continuing yoga class.  So I was wondering, why do I have to set a goal to graduate to the next class. Why can't I master yoga in the Beginners class? Do I want to go to Continuing Yoga just because it's there? Long term goals in yoga can take decades. To get a good tree pose, table pose or worse frog stand may take decades. This morning I am bargaining with my stiff tendons for the ability to get to class by 9:30am. I am bribed by a good cup of coffee and some warm blanket around my ankles. The negotiation takes on another dimension - I can break out of the comfort zone and work on yoga because I will graduate one day.

One thing that seems to lack any bargaining is walking the dog. Inuki has her way all the time. I will walk the dog because I can.




I will ride a century because I can. Later.


-Terri